Top secret plans for the future of Le Cornu’s former Anzac Highway showroom have been revealed exclusively to Adelaide Mail. While initial reports revealed that German supermarket giant Kaufland had bought the land, local billionaire squatter Con Makris has secured an eleventh hour injunction that will see ownership of the land cede to his property group.
Makris exploited a little-known piece of South Australian property law which states that Greek property developers sporting suspiciously thick bouffant hair shall be guaranteed first options to buy any former Le Cornu sites. With the North Adelaide site set to house a new Swedish furniture store, Makris turned his eyes toward Forestville.
‘Have I got something in store for South Australians?’, said Makris. ‘It’s time to put my patented Makris spin on this here land. You loved what I did for O’Connell Street, so I give to you 10 Anzac. Your new home for overgrown weeds, ramshackle fencing and complete and utter inaction for the next thirty years’.
‘I don’t think any place in South Australia could better symbolise this state. Think about it, all that rich history of manufacturing here with Chrysler. Then came the local business success story replaced with nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only way it could be better is if we built some dodgy submarines here’.